the world according to weston

keep everyones expectations of you low and you’ll never disappoint them

opinions are like assholes…everyone has one and they all stink but mine…(apologies to anyone who has had a horrific accident which subsequently left them sans an asshole )

if life gives you lemons make lemonaid…if life gives you bullshit use it for fertilizer…if life gives you a big penis….i hate you

live and love like every moment is your last (but don’t get caught..just in case it’s not)

a penny saved is a penny earned…a penny for your thoughts…he’s a bad penny….Penny took my virginity and she’s a cruel heartless backstabbin dick suckin cunt

honesty is the best policy (but lieing can get you laid)

take the road less traveled…(but stay the fuck outta my way)

you can’t take it with you…..(unless you put it in a balloon swallow it and put a cork up your ass so you don’t shit it out when you die)

a bird in the hand is an awful mess

a friend in need …is a pain in the ass

home is where the heart is….(the mind is at the strip bar)

a stranger is a friend i haven’t met yet …( or a potential rape victim)

if anything i have said offends you….fuck you if you can’t take a joke

the world accor…


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