Monthly Archives: May 2012

Body Language


ImageArm swing_ unconscious wish to walk away

Crossed arms_ defensiveness or boredom

Eyebrow lowered_ disagreement doubt uncertainty

Eyebrow raised_ disbelief surprise exasperation

One long eyebrow_ deevolutionary neanderthal fucktard

Raising a finger_ polite way of interrupting

Raising middle finger_ polite way of saying go fuck yourself

Averting eyes_ uncomfortable or guilty

Poking out eyes_ you are one butt ugly motherfucker

Hands on hips “akimbo”_ body is prepared to take steps to perform take charge

Hands on hips “give em a push” _you’ll be surprised you’re doing the french mistake

Hands behind head_ conflict disagreement anger frustration

Hands around an others throat_ final conflict

Head tilt sideways_ flirting friendly

Head tilt sideways arm holding invisible rope_ would rather die then listen to another second of your mindless trivial bullshit

Covering the mouth (talking through hands)_ uncertainty lack of knowledge or a vain attempt at keeping your coworkers from knowing about the penis you had for lunch

Eyes bulging tongue protruding head twisting violently_  electrodes attached from car battery to testicles


Ideas i need to patent


   IDEA # 1….We have natural grain cereals, whole grain  cereals….. I wanna market wood grain cereal . It will be cheap to produce…just sweep up sawdust from a woodshop floor, add a buttload of sugar and pour several colors of watered down acrylic paint on it….the kids will love it!  And since it’s got the word grain in it old people will eat it thinking it will make them poop…sure they might shit multicolored building blocks…but hey…the kids win again!